How to know if someone you're dating is actually single
Last updated July 1, 2026
The Ashley Madison leak, the U.S. General Social Survey, and every long-running dating study point at the same range: roughly 20–25% of people on dating apps are not as single as their profile suggests. Here's how to read the signals.
What are signs someone is secretly married or in a relationship?
Six patterns show up together: (1) only available at odd hours — late weeknights, never weekends, (2) no social media, or accounts that don't show any personal life, (3) won't meet at their home and won't say where they live in detail, (4) turns their phone face-down and steps away for calls, (5) unavailable for entire weekends and holidays with vague reasons, (6) discourages you from posting about them.
How do I ask someone if they're really single?
Ask directly, once, without loading the question: 'Are you seeing anyone else right now, or married?' You want the answer, not a confession. If the answer is evasive, the answer is your answer. Anyone genuinely single answers this in one sentence.
How can I verify someone is single?
Search their name plus their city on Google, then on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Marriage records are public in most U.S. states — county clerk websites often have searchable databases. If they've told you where they work, a LinkedIn profile usually shows the truth.
Is it a bad sign if someone has no social media?
Not always — plenty of people genuinely opt out. But 'no social media at all, no photos anywhere, no LinkedIn' combined with the availability patterns above is a specific pattern. People hiding a spouse are the second-largest group with zero public digital footprint, after people in witness protection.
What should I do if I find out someone lied about being single?
End it in writing so there's a record, block on every channel, and don't engage with the guilt-trip messages that will follow. If you're worried the partner might blame you, a brief factual message to that person is a kindness — many affair partners have said the notification is what let them leave.
Meet people without handing over your number
No.Regrets.Dating. members carry a card with a QR code. Anyone who scans it submits a live selfie and a short dating-style profile before their message reaches you — so you see who's actually reaching out.
See how it works